Well I survived the first week on the floor.  I had two different preceptors.  The first day it was an older lady whose husband and daughter are both nurses.  I couldn't really tell if she thought I was great or a complete idiot.  Every hospital has different syringes and med containers and I was gettin used to everything and felt like I was asking a million questions and she reacted in such a weird way to me.   At the end of the day she said nice things to me about how I did but it's difficult to silence my inner critic.  The next two days were with a nurse my age but with lots more experience.  She is smart and good at her job but she did cut corners a bit and the charge nurse was keeping an eye on us the whole time and on the end of the third day I had a meeting with the Charge and Unit Director and they asked to me explain how I performed some tasks like delivering the meds to each patient and I knew my preceptor was doing it wrong but I told them how we did it and they were like well that's not how we want you to do it and I am thinking no s#$t but I was doing as I was told.  In my nursing program our clinical instructors were really rigid and taught us "White Tower" nursing which it totally by the book.  I am a very rules oriented person and if you set out the standards for me to perform my job I will do it.  I don't need to reinvent stufff.  So long story short I am getting 3 patients of my own starting this week and will still have the preceptor to check on me and make sure I am doing it right.  This will be my third preceptor after they told me I would have the same one the whole time.  There have been a few other inconsistencies with things they said in the interview and the reality on the floor.  It's a little annoying to me but probably par for the course.  

I keep getting calls to interview at other hospitals now that I took this job.  Why didn't they want me a month ago?  Their loss.  

On a much happier note we saw Morrissey last night at the Palms.  He was sooooooo AWESOME!!!  He did a lot of Smith's songs.  I was transported back to high school in a good way.  His band was amazing and we had GREAT seats.   I am still reliving the show in my head.  There are so many of my friends that I wish were there with me. (J).   

So anyhow.  Back to work this week.  I have to go to an in-service Monday morning at 7 am on my day off put on by one of the Oncology Docs that basically got the hospital to create our unit.  Everyone goes on about how great she is but in the two times I saw her they wouldn't introduce me to her because she was in a completely foul mood.  Nice.  Whatever.  I will show up take notes and come home.  Although I do have to stop over at employee health for a flu shot.  OUCH!

O-K after much panic and obsessed musings I am now back to normal.  I was able to speak to my BFF JLS and I am now over this change in my current potential employment.  JLS calmed me down and back to reality that all new nurses start graveyard and I will just have to make it work.  I did speak to my new manager as well and she said the first 5 weeks of training will be on dayshift and that she is actively looking for new hires for the night shift and I am without a doubt the person that would go to the dayshift after the night shift is staffed.  
JLS reminded me of the brightside that I will have friends on other units at night and it won't be forever.  Now that panic is over I need to find another thing to obsess about.  Let me go check on the dog.

O-K so I haven't even started my new job and I am already not happy!  I get a call yesterday from the HR manager involved in hiring me.  She said the Unit Manager from where I am to start contacted her to say that she had 3 nurses quit on Graveyard shift and she can't possibly start me on days due to the shortage!  I was totally about to cry because the fact that I was told I could work days was the reason I accepted the job on the spot.  I know as a new grad it is rare to start on days and we all have to put in our time but I was also waiting for an interview in an ER at another hospital with the knowledge that it would be graveyard for a year or so until I could bid for a dayshift.  GD collective bargaining agreements!  So I was justifying taking a less challenging first job compared to ER because it was days and my husband and I still like each other a lot and want to see each other.  The HR manager told me that I could be moved to days after about 2 months according to the manager but of course can't put it in writing due to aforementioned collective bargaining agreement.  Basically if I start and work my 2 months and can move to days if one of the other nurses on grave has more seniority than me and want to move to days they can bid for the spot and I am SOL.  
The Unit Manager is supposed to call me today to discuss this further.  I already told the HR lady that I am still going to go forward with the offer and start orientation on Monday but we are starting off on the wrong foot big time!  My husband said I could decline the position and hold out for something else because he is awesome but I am going nuts not working.  It's not about finances I am sitting at home watching Oprah re-runs and steadily gaining weight every week.  I gotta go to work.  
I will be honest though during the interview the Manager and Charge Nurse blathered on about how great the unit is and how everyone laughs and treats each other like family.  There are only 14 nurses on the unit and then 3 quit makes me wonder!  They also went on about the lower nurse patient ratio on this unit but obviously it's higher at night because people are mostly sleeping but not always.  Ughhhhh... Great I am a big believer in signs and things happening for a reason that's why I went to nursing school in the first place.  There were so many things turning me away from my criminal justice degree.  So what does this mean?